FAMILIYYYYY!!!!
This week has been absolutely AMAZING. But also one of the hardest things I have ever done. I wish I could take every hour that I have spent here, take everything that I learned in that hour and spend 1000 years mastering it. I feel that I am drinking from a fire hydrant and I am getting a lot of water, but mostly squirted in the face. In a good way :)
Everyday I think, "Oh!! I want to tell my family this!!" and then 20 seconds later I get the most life changing inspiration that I want to share.
What I have finally decided to share with you is this: The Character of Christ.
On Sunday nights here at the MTC, we are allowed to pick one of the several movies shown right after devotional. My district chose to watch the MTC Christmas devotional given by Elder David A. Bednar. Let me preface this by saying that nothing I have ever experienced has ever changed my so much as this devotional. His whole talk is about the Character of Christ. Pres. Neil A. Maxwell said, "There would have been no atoning sacrifice if it were not for the character of Christ." WIth that being said, I will tell you what that is: it is that Christ always turned OUTWARD. He NEVER turned inward. He knew perfectly how to deny the natural man. MY MISSION IS NOT ABOUT ME. THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME. In fact, NONE OF THIS IS ABOUT ME. Did I say that this mission is not about me? Let me add that my life is not about me. Everything I do is not about me. It is all about the work. When I want to turn inward and say, "I want more investigators! I want a baptism! I want to feel better about my teaching skills!" I need to repent. And repent quickly. I WILL NOT have the absolutely necessary Spirit with me if I sit around moping about what I want out of this mission. I was not called on this mission so that I can be better. It just so happens to be that I grow and learn while I am turning outward. President Bednar said, "If you try and find yourself, you will always be lost. But if you lose yourself in the work and in others, you will find yourself without even looking." I am on this mission because I was foreordained to be a missionary. I became a missionary in the life before this when I was in the presence of my Heavenly Father. I didn't agree then, that the reason I would become a missionary for the Church of Latter Day Saints was because I needed to go on one, but because I knew that there were going to be those in the New Hampshire Manchester Mission that I promised to find and to help and invite them to come unto Christ. There is no mistake that I am right here, right now serving a mission with the people I am. There is a greater work ahead. A greater work, a mission of God to "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" and I promised to live in a way that I can help our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ with this work.
I have learned more about myself and about my purpose as a missionary faster, more clearly than I ever had before. On Saturday I was on a real low. I couldn't stop thinking about Emma and her surgery and I felt inadequate. I felt that I wasn't getting teaching. Then Sunday came and I had this revelation that those thoughts are selfish and that I needed to repent. I have been promised by the Lord that my family will be watched over. And in accordance to the me not feeling goof about myself, read Doctrine and Covenants 11. Also, I was reading in Moses and in one part Enoch says basically the same thing that I felt and the Lord, in response doesn't pat Enoch on the head and say, "No! You are fine!" He says, basically, do as I say. Forget yourself. Keep my commandments. The quote, "Forget yourself and go to work." is not just a nice idea. It is salvation! Service is not something we do to make ourselves feel good. That is a selfish reason to serve. We serve because THAT is how we become as our Father in Heaven is.
ok that was a little intense. But I feel so strongly.
So here at the MTC, we have this thing called the Teaching Resource Center (TRC) My companion and I have a TRC named Leah. She is an Evangelical Christian. She has been taking discussions here hat the MTC for 1 1/2 years. Please pray for here. I feel that the Lord has blessed her and she is finally softening her heart. Please pray for her.
Ok I will have to leave soon! I love you all so much! Oh! Funny story that you can include on the blog. So on Sunday, in the gym is where we have devotional and there is this bib 600 pound mat that they lay down that takes about 120 people to roll up. My district was there when they were rolling it up along with a ton of other missionaries,so we were helping. So the way that you fold it up is way organized and there is this guy that is on the microphone telling us what to do. So one side turns its backs to the other side and pulls the end of the mat to a certain line, while keeping it low to the ground to keep minimal air from getting in. Anyways, as I was doing my side, everyone started going really fast and so the air from the mat was blowing my skirt up and so I tried to pull a Marilyn Monroe and hold my skirt down, but it didn't work so well so I tripped and got rolled up in the mat and people didn't stop for like 3 seconds. Hahahahahahah it was so funny!!! Some people were like, 'Are you ok??" and some were laughing at me, but I couldn't answer them cause I couldn't stop laughing. ANnyyyyyyways. There's my funny story. Oh! Here is another one since I have time. So a couple of days ago, we were talking about the importance of making commitments and following up and there is this way that were are instructed in the Preach My Gospel to do it and so the sisters in my district were like, "we should use this in dating when we get back!" to which I said,"Will you (fill in the blank) give me a kiss goodbye tonight? I promise that as you do so, you will have affection returned and that a glorious relationship will follow." Hahahha we thought it was pretty funny.
Ok I got to go! I love you!
I love you all!
Serve the Lord and your fellow men.
Love
Sister Sewell.
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